Agendas and Intentions

A break in the weather,

we show up to the park.

Agenda in hand,

the sun not so stark.

It is clear from the get go

my agenda is moot.

Kyle doesn’t want to walk.

He gives me the boot.

Attached to my agenda,

I push and cajole.

An opportunity to exercise,

we could be on a roll.

Kyle doesn’t have words

to get his point across.

His actions say everything,

he wants to be the boss.

But I have an agenda

right here in my head.

I don’t want to let it go,

I push and pull instead.

Kyle may have autism

but sure knows his wants.

Today he is tired.

About this, he is staunch.

Holding on tight

to what we “should” do,

not embracing the moment,

I notice myself blue.

I find myself frustrated,

resistant and annoyed,

but soon get a glimmer:

it’s the agenda, not my boy.

Our wants are in conflict,

I came here for Kyle.

So my walking agenda

will be released for the while.

When I’m able to do that

I feel myself soften,

there will be another day,

we’ll come here more often.

I notice the trees,

I feel the fresh air.

I sit down next to Kyle,

mother and son, quite the pair.

Ah ha, I see differently.

I got very attached.

An intention would feel better,

desires without a catch.

Another source of suffering

once again revealed.

Hanging on tightly

has suddenly lost its appeal.

Settling down, I can see this,

something else to learn.

I feel a lot more peaceful

when my thoughts take a turn.

How interesting we humans are,

we make agendas all the time,

then wonder why we’re miserable

when life changes on a dime.

When agenda fades to intention,

a new feeling then appears.

Peace and opportunity,

skies looking oh so clear.