Missing Piece

This is in memory of Tammy Kenyon, a dear friend and significant part of Kyle’s team and life since May of 2011. Tammy was really special, making a big difference for so many people particularly those with special needs and those working with people with special needs. She was extremely knowledgable and skilled, but most importantly, she was all heart. Her work and interactions were always flavored by a palpable passion and love. She was known as “the Kyle Whisperer” amongst Kyle’s people. She is and will be missed tremendously.

Losing someone cared about, even loved

The puzzle of my life suddenly has a missing piece

The hole gapes wide

The mind struggles to make sense of it

It was there before

Where did it go?

How could this be?

Where did it go?

How could this be?

So suddenly, it is missing

Unexpected

Shocking even

There is resistance

Sadness

A wanting to rewind

Desire to have just a bit more time with this now missing piece

The other pieces stare at the space

They feel it distinctly, painfully

Something was there, belonged there

It fit so well

So very well

Taken for granted it would always be there

Until it wasn’t

Nothing seems to fit now

The other pieces are loose,

feeling a bit lost

They might have gotten lax in attentiveness and appreciation

Let the maintenance of that puzzle piece slack

Feeling like it was secure in the life puzzle

All transient, nothing secure as it seems

For awhile, the puzzle hole hurts and impacts the rest of the puzzle

The other pieces jiggle around like the apps on an iPhone

What shall we do?

The hole seems so large

How do we make sense of this?

How will we fill this hole?

The truth is, the hole can’t be filled

It will never be filled

The other pieces will shift around the hole

And it will get smaller, fainter, less pronounced

The hole will remain

The other pieces will always know it was there

They will carry the scent left behind by that hole

They will live the memories,

learn the lessons from that piece and its subsequent loss

And maybe hold the remaining pieces just a bit tighter

New shape

New puzzle