Resistance
Welcome to 2022!
Many of us are hoping to have a new and improved experience of our lives. We are hoping for more of the things we want and less (or none!) of the things we don’t want.
We might want less stress, struggle, or overwhelm and more peace, ease, or grace.
We are now a few weeks into 2022 and we may be feeling a bit disappointed that these things have not happened. The whoosh of the new year has subsided and challenges are still there and new ones may be coming to us faster than we want.
Though I have reflected on this many times, I am once again deeply aware that there is one major source of stress that is universal for everyone.
Everyone? Yes, everyone!
Our source of stress and struggle is RESISTANCE.
It might be resistance to what is showing up for us in life- ie circumstances such as events, what others are doing or not doing, things we can’t influence or control, etc.
It might be resistance to how we are seeing something (perspective) and therefore, our experience of life’s events.
It might be resistance to our own feelings or actions.
It might be resistance to what’s creating those feelings: our thoughts, the busyness of our minds.
It might be self judgment.
It might be a simple and gentle wishing and wanting something to be different. OR, it might be strongly and desperately wanting something to be different.
It might be resistance to our resistance!
It is so very clear to me that stress, strain, and struggle come from resistance.
An experience or event is not inherently stressful. We (innocently) create our feelings of stress via resistance.
I’ve been running an experiment.
When I notice I am feeling stress, strain, or struggle, I check in and notice whether I am resisting anything about the situation or my feelings/experience. There are times when I really want the answer to be “no, absolutely not.” It would be easier to blame the outside world, circumstances, other people. “They need to change so I can feel good.”
I may not want to be the one creating (though NOT purposely) my own experience. I want the answer to be no. But if I am truly honest, I am able to notice the song of resistance playing in the background EVERY time I check in. Every time!
Now I don’t always remember to check in. Sometimes I am on the stress and struggle train and it doesn’t occur to me. But when it does, resistance is lurking in the shadows.
It is important to understand this: I am not choosing to create my stress, strain and overwhelm, yet the stress, strain and overwhelm comes from within. It is an inside out job. Sometimes it doesn’t look like it. I could swear it is coming directly from the outside world, from the flow of life and what it is throwing at me. Because why would I create the uncomfortable feelings of stress by resisting?
Life does it’s thing. I look through whatever set of glasses I am wearing at the moment. I have an experience which comes with a feeling. This is how humans work.
The thing is I don’t choose the glasses. They happen to be over the eyes of my awareness in any given moment. Which glasses I wear is not up to me. There are many times that I would definitely wish for a new pair if I had that power.
It is tempting, when we see that the resistance comes from within and it creates our experience of stress, struggle, and sometimes misery, to judge or blame ourselves. It is tempting to try to manage our thoughts away from resistance. Once we see resistance as a source of strain and we acknowledge it comes from the inside out, a logical conclusion might be to get in there and attempt to change it.
Resistance is futile. And resisting our resistance is even more futile. It adds another layer of stress.
It is enough to just know about it, see it, understand it. When we do this, we create a space for it to flow through as all thought, feeling and experience does. It can’t help itself. Resistance is no exception. It will flow. For better or for worse, we will see and feel differently. We will find ourselves wearing a new set of glasses with which to create our experiences. The shift may seem gradual or sudden.
Life is going to do its life thing.
We will resist until we don’t. We will feel the stress of resistance until we don’t.
Our outside world is always changing. Our inside world is always changing. The glasses we wear are always changing. Our experience is always changing.
Understanding this is good news. But perhaps that’s just the glasses I am wearing at the moment. ;-)