Kindness of a Stranger

We were on our way out of Kyle’s medical appointment yesterday when he immediately plopped himself into a chair in the small waiting room. This was helpful and convenient for me as I needed to take care of the bill and a few other matters. 

When it was actually time to leave, he did not want to get up. This is not uncommon for Kyle to get comfortable quickly and then not want to budge. This is particularly true when he’s having a tired laid back kind of day as he was yesterday. 

We run into this regularly at home and other places out in the community. There are a few tricks to convince him to get up, but they don’t always work. In this case, because of the cramped area the chair was in, I couldn’t carry out my usual strategies.  The promise of lunch when we got home was not enough to convince him to leave his designated comfy spot. 

Despite my patience and speaking calmly and softly to Kyle, acknowledging he didn’t want to get up but that we needed to get home for lunch, he would not budge and was gently pushing my arms away to communicate what he wanted. Or rather, did not want. 

I decided to give him a few moments. Pausing and slowing down is always a good idea when possible. This gives him extra processing time. It also slows me down and helps with being responsive vs reactive.  Except for my mental agenda, it didn’t really matter when we left. 

There was a mother and teenage son sitting on an adjacent couch. In the small waiting room it was impossible to miss or ignore the interaction between me and Kyle.

Suddenly, I heard a calm voice: “Is there anything we can do to help?” Honestly, it took me by surprise. Rarely have I been asked a question like this. We might get some stares or maybe some confused or judgmental looks. However, people usually do not speak to me or Kyle unless I initiate an interaction. 

The question hung in the air for a second. I was so taken aback I didn’t know how to answer. At first I said, “No” and I thanked her.

Then suddenly I heard myself saying , “Yes, you could hold the door open so Kyle could see it and it would be a great cue that we need to leave.” It was not possible for me to assist Kyle in getting up AND hold the door at the same time because the door was too far away from him. 

A wide open door could be a helpful and natural prompt.  Kyle responds to cues like that.  Immediately, our friendly stranger popped right up and held the door open. 

Within about a minute, Kyle saw that open door and got up on his own to leave the office with me. Easy. No coaxing required. 

I thanked her but in hindsight, my appreciation feels like it didn’t quite do justice to the interaction. 

On the outside, asking if someone could use some help and then holding a door open might seem like a small gesture. Natural, perhaps even common courtesy. 

It was offered with such kindness. The interaction felt so fluid. It was not really a small gesture at all. 

Putting an offer of support into helpful action and not being afraid to reach out has been rare in my experiences out in the world with Kyle. She really had no idea what I might ask her to do in reply to her question. She was kind of taking a chance. 

This gesture was meaningful and very helpful at that moment in time.  A situation that was feeling difficult was eased.  I experienced it right afterwards as very special. My faith in humanity felt renewed.

So to the stranger who stepped up for me and Kyle, I send a big hug and thank you. Maybe I will find a way to connect with you so you can know the impact of your gesture of kindness.

In the meantime,  I hope to pay it forward sometime soon.